Good Enough.

Lately, I’ve really been struggling with the idea that I’m not good enough, no matter how hard I try. A couple of days ago I wrote a letter to my brother who identifies as transgender and as far as I know, he doesn’t believe in God. I guess it’s not necessarily that he doesn’t believe in God, but he doesn’t have faith in Him and sort of rejects Him.

I wrote him a letter because I think that he thinks that I don’t love him or want to be around him because he’s transgender, and that I condemn him because of it, which isn’t true at all. I love my brother deeply and I just want him to know that he is still good and capable of being loved, and in fact, he still is loved.

In this letter I quoted the book of Genesis when it said, “God looked at every thing that he had made and found it very good.” I then continued to tell my brother that I said that because when God created him as male, God saw that it was good, and that he was made that way for a reason.

I feel so ridiculous for saying these things to my brother when I struggle with self-esteem and the thought that I’m not good enough. But that part of scripture in Genesis really speaks to me : I am good. God made me, and he made me good. I am enough. Even when I feel that I’m not enough: not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, I am still enough for our Lord and Creator, and that brings me comfort.

It reminds me of the movie The Chronicles of Narnia The Voyage of the Dawn Treader when Lucy wants to be looked at as beautiful like her sister Susan. And she practically wants to be Susan, but Aslan comes to her and says that by wanting to look like her sister and practically be her sister that she is wishing herself away and he says , “You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.”

That’s my problem and I’m going to also say that it’s my brother’s problem. We doubt our value and we’re running from who we are supposed to be. I run towards Christ, but even though I know he sees me as being good enough, I don’t accept that, because I want to be accepted by every one else, when in reality that doesn’t even matter. Jesus Himself says, “If they hate you, know that they hated me first.”

My brother on the other hand, seems to run as fast as he can away from Christ and wants to be like everyone else, he too wants to be accepted by the world and wants to be someone other than the one God created him to be.

To sum it all up, Christ accepts you, Christ wills your existence and loves you unconditionally, and in the end, that is all that matters.

He is not safe, but he is good.

I have become fascinated with the movie, “The Chronicles of Narnia; the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” a movie based off of a book by C.S. Lewis. I became fascinated with C.S. Lewis’ writings, because he is a very well known Catholic writer and I’m kind of obsessed with Catholic literature. But this movie goes so much deeper than just a story about a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe.

There is so much theology in this movie, and that’s what interests me the most. I’ve done some research about the symbolism of this movie and here’s what I’ve discovered.

I figured that the 4 children, Lucy, Susan, Edmund, and Peter all had some sort of biblical meaning, or represent a saint or some type of Christian. I found out that the oldest boy, Peter is supposed to represent the Apostle Peter, the one who started the Church. Edmund represents Adam from the story of Adam and Eve and it was his sin from which we fell. Susan is supposed to represent someone who had a strong faith in the beginning, but lost it. And my favorite, Lucy, I feel represents that child-like faith that we are all supposed to have.

With this being said, since Edmund disobeys Aslan who represents God, that is why Aslan dies in his place, in order to save him from being slaves to the White Witch. The White Witch obviously representing Satan.

I think that when Aslan died on the stone table (which  represents the cross Jesus died on) I think that not only represents Christ’s death, but also represents the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, when we break the body of Christ, just as it was broken on the cross.

My favorite part in the whole movie is when Lucy asks Mr. Beaver, “Is he safe?” and Mr. Beaver said, “‘Course he’s not safe, but he is good. He’s the King I tell you.” This line makes me look at Christ so much differently. I always looked at Him as being someone safe, which He is. But to follow Christ is not safe, but following Christ is good, because He’s the King. I say it’s not safe to follow Christ because in the Bible, Jesus says, “If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first.” (Matthew 15:18) and also says, “Blessed are you when you they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.” (Matthew 5:11-12) Christ tells us to rejoice when we are persecuted. Another piece of Sacred Scripture stands out to me as well, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

These scripture passages just back up what I’m trying to tell you. It’s not safe to follow Christ, because we will be persecuted, but for that persecution, He will repay us with grace and everlasting life.

No, He is not safe. But He IS good.